all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
