summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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