I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize