Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
