Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
