...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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