Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
