Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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