so let's talk penis.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
