i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
