so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
