Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
