Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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