This girl is more easily done than said...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
God I need to hump something, right now.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
