really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
