I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
