I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
