whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
