he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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