Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
