would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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