I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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