Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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