I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
