Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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