Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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