My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
