so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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