All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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