Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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