The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
