I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
