So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
