so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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