Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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