Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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