The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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