I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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