Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize