I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
