I think my vagina is haunted
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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