Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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