My Higher Power is John Stamos
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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