I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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