you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
