if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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