Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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