A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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