Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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