He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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