She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
