remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
