Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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