Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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