I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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