I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
