kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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